


Shrouded

by kylogram



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 03:53:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6499744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylogram/pseuds/kylogram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo realizes Hux doesn't look at him when they fuck on their eighth time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fill for the [kink meme](http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/3961.html?thread=8263801#cmt8263801). 
> 
> 5 drabbles + 1 double drabble. There might be a second part but it's a standalone work. Prompt in the end notes.

Kylo realizes Hux doesn't look at him when they fuck on their eighth time. 

Once it's all over and he lies on his back, watching Hux get dressed is how it hits him. 

"Ren," Hux says with a nod as he leaves without meeting his eye like every time before. 

He tries not to think much of it, but when on their ninth time Kylo dares to suggest they try something different this time and all he gets is Hux pulling back and lying himself face first on the bed, ass raised and eyes closed... he can't help but wonder.

***

"Your grandparents were stunning." Hux says it off-handedly as he flicks through a set of antique holos that Kylo keeps in his room. 

"Yeah, I know," Kylo replies awkwardly as he starts undressing.

"Your uncle too, and your mom. Two of the most beautiful faces in the history of the galaxy," Hux insists, as he sees an image of young Leia, her delicate, perfect features on display. "Even your dad, most handsome criminal in the universe, every teen's dream..."

"Mm-hmm," is all Kylo can bring himself to say.

"What happened?" Hux asks and chuckles. 

Kylo doesn't take off the mask. 

***

It's until their nineteenth time that they fuck face to face. 

Hux keeps his facial expressions neutral, and he keeps his eyes closed whenever he isn't looking away. 

Kylo relishes every second of it, he loves to see the rise and fall of Hux's chest, the impeccable features on his face. He catches Hux's eye in one especially vulnerable moment and Hux whispers a ‘hideous' that Kylo is sure he wasn't meant to hear.

"I'm sorry," Kylo can't help but reply. 

He manages to stop himself from saying that he doesn't mean to be so ugly. 

Hux doesn't say anything.

***

They've been fucking for years now.

He wouldn't have dared to ask if it wasn't likely his last chance. It's normal for people to bring friends and partners to such ceremonies. There are no ranks above General, it'd be nice to be there.

"They don't have to know I'm Kylo Ren. I can go without the mask, as a friend," Kylo says shyly and regrets it immediately.

"Really, Ren? You want them to see your face?," says Hux and Kylo can't respond.

Kylo watches the ceremony, from afar, wearing the mask. 

He notices the personal guests seats are all empty.

***

With the Finalizer ready, they have to optimize their schedules so they sleep together a lot.

They can fuck, sleep, go to the refresher and not waste time in between. 

They are still keeping it a secret.

"Your hair is good, Ren," Hux says once, out of nowhere, as Kylo gets dressed. Kylo freezes because it's the first good thing Hux has ever said about any part of his body above the neck.

"It covers the ears," Hux adds with a smile so bright and gentle that Kylo can't help but believe it's a real compliment. 

That makes it worse.

***

When it all ends, Hux comes to save him. 

He drags his half-dead body and gets him medical help. He brushes the dirt off his face, holds his hair back and tells him everything will be okay.

He doesn't tell Hux about his father, or about the girl. Once they're alone, all he can do is meet Hux's eyes as they look at him in sadness and ends up breaking down. 

He apologizes over and over, unable to even speak as he broadcasts his apologies through the Force with the little strength he has. Thick tears soak through the bandages on his face. He's so grateful for Hux. He's so sorry that he's even uglier than before. He's just so sorry.

Hux launches himself towards him and wraps his arms around him, he drops kisses on every patch of skin that he can reach around the bandages. 

"You are beautiful," Hux whispers over and over, "Kylo, you're so beautiful."

And Kylo can feel the love, he can feel the kindness. Kylo is grateful, so grateful that although he's been disfigured further, Hux will still have him. 

Right now, Hux means every word, still, Kylo knows better than to believe him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux doesn't want Ren to get any ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for the kind and lovely response, I'm so overwhelmed!
> 
> This is part 2, Hux's POV... I tried to make it better but I think I made it worse :S I'm sorry, I WILL write some fun porn one day, though, I promise!
> 
> I actually have no idea how to fix this heh, but if you find solace on EVERYBODY being miserable and things making a bit more sense, this might be for you. Enjoy!

_It's nothing more than an inconvenience._

That’s what he tells himself every time he finds himself in Ren’s quarters. 

Since puberty (with two shameful exceptions) the clinical touch of his hand once a week had been enough to keep his biological instincts in check, but then Darth Tantrum had strode into his life and ruined everything. 

_It won’t last._ He reassures himself as he holds down the Knight’s head, a firm hand through his hair. 

_Don’t give him ideas._ He reminds himself as he bends over for the younger man. 

He hopes Ren will fuck the weakness out of him.

***

Hux hates Ren’s legacy.

He hates Darth Vader, a traitor. He hates Luke Skywalker for being weak. He hates Leia for being wrong. Han Solo for being deadbeat. Queen Amidala for letting herself die.

Ren has a shrine for them. These pathetic lumps of waste. 

He hates him too.

He hates that Ren turned his back on his perfect life, with two perfect, beautiful parents. He hates that they loved him. He hates that he always hears they want him back.

Despite the murders, Ren’s parents want him back.

He wants to make sure Ren knows he doesn’t deserve it.

***

Hux hates Ren’s unrestraint.

There are no limits to him. No line he won’t cross, no desire he won’t pursue, no emotion he will contain. He spills himself over everything he does, while remaining full to the brim with more. He gives, and gives, and never runs out.

Hux would like to sink his fingers into Ren’s chest cavity and dig, find what makes him, find the fountainhead of what makes him powerful. What makes him special. What makes him full.

Ren looks up at him, feigning emptiness and wants Hux to fix that. 

Hux doesn’t want him getting ideas.

***

Hux hates when Ren pities him.

He hates how he looks at his scars, like they’re anything but medals. He hates how he looks at his quarters, nothing off-regulation in sight.

He hates how Ren tries to sneak into his mind, like he did his body. He hates how he tries to make it all better when he spies on his dreams as if he wouldn’t be able to tell.

He earned this rank alone, he doesn’t need anyone to clap for him. He’s never had anyone to do so.

Hux doesn’t need Ren getting ideas.

He doesn’t need Ren.

***

Hux knows that he needs Ren.

With the Finalizer ready, it is almost time for Ren to move on to his final training with Snoke.

The Supreme Leader tends to keep his plans secret, until they have to comply immediately. Hux has lost a few soldiers that way. 

The idea of having Ren leaving suddenly is far worse than that.

Hux knows it’s not a minor inconvenience. 

For too long he overlooked needs for wants, and now that he is a General and his opus weapon is ready he is all need.

But he’s well trained.

He can go without.

***

Hux hates that he isn’t strong enough to carry Ren.

He hates that half-whispered lullabies are spilling from his lips as he drags the Knight into a pod.

Ren broadcasts him his every thought and he hates it. He hates that Ren dared to kill his father when he hasn’t, he hates that he thinks of himself as weak, he hates that he dares to wish for death while Hux sits not two feet away from him.

He hates that Ren is so strong that they don’t have to dip him whole in bacta. He hates that he doesn’t need to stick in medical for months before seeing Snoke. 

As he wraps himself around Ren’s broken frame, he hates that he's being honest. He hates that he can’t make it better. He hates that he’s comforting the younger man when it’s himself who has lost everything. 

_Not Ren, though_ , his brain whispers, but he knows he has. 

Hux hates superstition, he hates prayer, he hates the Force, he hates begging. But as he kisses and praises Kylo Ren, his mind begs to anyone who’ll hear, to any deity or the universe itself, to take anything, just not Ren.

Not Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I am on Tumblr](http://teddy-grohl.tumblr.com), my blog is not just Kylux though, but in case you want to contact me I mean :) thank you again for reading!
> 
> and I'm sorry D:
> 
> (seems I'm too inept to figure out how to mark as complete, but it's complete now I believe)
> 
> EDIT: Thanks to Failed_to_Deanon for the tip :) fixed!

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Kylo has always been very insecure about his looks. When they start sleeping together Hux picks up on this almost immediately and decides to use it to his advantage. He makes lots of backhanded comments about Kylo's looks (maybe jokes about him wearing the helmet or comparing him to his handsome dad?) and basically implies he's hideous but not to worry because Hux doesn't mind. The emotional abuse breaks an already insecure Kylo who is pathetically grateful that Hux can stand to touch him when he's obviously such a monster. 
> 
> Bonus points if Hux actually thinks Kylo is super hot in an unconventional way but just wants to break him and make him utterly dependent."


End file.
